From the actor himself:
Larry Crandell or Michael Douglas?
In the 1990s, my family and I joined with many people in Santa Barbara to help create the 70-acre Douglas Family Preserve in Santa Barbara – a beautiful area on the coast with public access. The Parks and Recreation Community Foundation (PARC), which helps look after the preserve, held an annual event at which it gave its "Philanthropist of the Year" award. I attended four years in a row to help raise money for the preserve.
One year Larry came up to me and said, "Michael, I've got to get you in the act, because even though I'm more talented, people came to see you." Here's this guy in his seventies running around with the energy of a 30-year-old. "Is it okay if I clown around?" he said. How could I say no?
A few minutes later, he got me up on stage before a crowd of several hundred people, most of whom were middle-aged. "This morning our star here," he said, indicating me, "spoke to 925 nubile co-eds at UCSB." (I'm a graduate of UCSB and had given a speech there earlier that day.) "These young students cheered and fussed over him," Larry continued, "but you women here, I want to talk to you. You're more sophisticated. You understand what makes a man really attractive. So I'm going to ask you to vote: who do you think is more attractive – Larry Crandell or Michael Douglas?"
There was a moment of stunned silence. But Larry didn't miss a beat. He held his hand over his own head and asked for applause. There was a strong round of clapping. So I said, "Do me." Another strong round of applause. I said, "It's a tie."
"No, Michael," he said, and he gave out a long sigh. "It's an example of two basic emotions – pity and lust."
The audience roared with laughter.
Actor, producer, philanthropist